The Magic of Looking Inside Yourself

Published on February 23, 2015 by

When things aren’t going so well, it’s easy to think the problem is "out there." I know because I’ve been there. In fact, in 2008 I was in a dark place for almost a year and I was looking for the problem and for solutions everywhere but inside me.

If something isn’t going right for us, the problem is never “out there” and the problem is never another person. That’s a hard pill to swallow. I'm not saying that other people or a challenging circumstance in life is never part of what's going on.

However, if I have a pattern that keeps showing up, that’s on me. If I keep blaming my manager or keep saying “It’s all about politics in my company” yet stay with my company, that’s a problem on the inside, not the outside.

Long ago, James Allen wrote: “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

And Stephen Covey, Ph.D. said, “Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the problem.” Yet, the truth is, the times we need to hear what Covey said is often the times we most resist it.

It takes a strong foundation of self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-worth to look inside.


  1. Gwen Cole

    Thank you. I definitely needed to read this today. I don't have a problem improving myself, its that I want others to change as I do. But usually their goal is not necessarily mine. So while I improve or change I need to remember that others may not follow or be different.

    • Alan Allard

      Thanks for your comments Gwen, I appreciate it. For people to change or to do something we want them to do, they have to have to see how doing so benefits them.Sometimes just knowing it will make us happy is enough, but often they need to see more benefit than that!

  2. Angela Moore

    I have been dealing with getting angry a lot. Over little things sometimes. I not sure why. I did go through a lot when I was little but try not to think about it. But I need to help myself so my marriage can be better..

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