Sex. Work. Your heart

No, this isn't about sex in the workplace or about sex and your heart--sorry to disappoint you. This is about something Warren Buffett said:

“Take a job that you love. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?” -Warren Buffett 

Warren Buffett said that? Yes, in fact, he did. But, is he right? After all, just because someone is brilliant in some areas doesn't make them an expert in all areas. I have to say though, I think Mr. Buffett is spot on here. What do you think?

Three of my clients have recently done the hard work of first admitting they didn't love what they were doing--and then doing something about that. It's not that they disliked what they did for work--but they sure didn't love it.

Today these three clients are doing what they love--and not one of them had to sacrifice their level of income in the process. In fact, they are making more money--and two of them are making significantly more money.

When I first challenged them on why they were staying where they were, all three said they couldn't make the money they were making if they made a change. So, for the sake of money, they were waiting to make career decisions--and  Mr. Buffett compares  that to "a little like saving up sex for your old age."

Enough about my clients, let's talk about you. What do you want for yourself and your life? Why don't you have it already--or why aren't you in the process of getting there, wherever "there" is for you? What are you "saving up" for later? Who says you can't have it sooner versus later? What does that little "voice" inside your head say? What about your "heart?" What does it say?

Sex, work and your heart. Turns out, there's a connection between all three. Who would have known? Apparently, Warren Buffett.

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We have beliefs about everything, but not all of our beliefs are helpful or defensible:

• Beliefs about self ("I'm not a risk taker.")
• Beliefs about others ("He's an idiot!")
• Beliefs about our future (I can't get a better job in this economy.")
• Beliefs about money ("Money doesn't grow on trees." Technically true, but what are we really saying?)
• Beliefs about employees ("We'd better not tell them everything.")

Beliefs--we have to have them, there's no way around that. But we don't have to believe them. We don't have to confuse our beliefs with facts. Facts are something we can prove over and over again and they're true for everyone. Beliefs are only true when we make them true for ourselves.

If we want something better at work or in life, we have to begin with our beliefs. If we want something to change, we have to change the beliefs we cherish so much. That can be challenging because we are often unaware about what we really think and believe about important matters.

The next time we're so sure what we believe is "right" and based on "reality," it might be good to look over this list of some very smart people who believed the following:

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”
(Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943)

“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”
(Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977)

“640K ought to be enough for anybody.”
(Bill Gates, 1981)

“$100 million dollars is way too much to pay for Microsoft.”
(IBM, 1982)

Prediction about the Internet: It “will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse.” Robert Metcalfe in a 1995 issue of InfoWorld.

On consumer buying on the internet: “Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop - because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.”  Time magazine, 1966

Maybe everything is perfect in your life or at your company. If not, for something to change, something has to change. That something will always include our beliefs.

Now it's your turn...leave a comment and I'll be sure to reply.

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Robert is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. It's not the biggest company around by far, but it's not tiny either. He brought me in and said, "Our sales are down this year and I have to do something now." I asked Robert, "How were sales last year." He replied, "They were down last year as well." I asked more questions and he answered each one thoughtfully and then we scheduled another meeting.

Robert then asked me to send him a proposal to turn things around. I told him that was premature and suggested on more meeting and he agreed. The next week came around and we met and included the sales director this time. That's when things got interesting. The sales director went on and on about how they were one of the leaders in their industry and were doing quite well despite the economy.

He talked about how some of their competitors had closed their doors and others were struggling big time. In short, he hypnotized the CEO into believing they were doing better than they were. He said they were doing "good" in bad times.

I looked at Robert, the CEO and asked him if that was acceptable. Was "good" acceptable when they were capable of thriving? Robert then began to argue that things weren't as bad as he thought and that they should just "stay the course" for now.

Robert is a good CEO and the sales director is a good sales director. And that's the problem. There's a reason Jim Collins said "Good is the enemy of great." Because it is. When it comes to looking in the mirror and at the results we produce, what do most of us do? We focus on where we are successful (and often exaggerate that) and tell ourselves we will get to the challenges tomorrow.

We're trapped by our successes--and that's why we call it the "Success Trap." We're trapped and what's worse, we don't even know it. We're not in much pain yet. Our success numbs us to whatever discomfort we feel and it's easy to ignore. That's what most of us do.

A relatively small percentage of us take the positive energy from our success and achievements and build on that. That's the key to thriving. Unfortunately, too many of us wait until the pain is so bad we can't ignore it any longer. By that time, we aren't in the "Success Trap" any longer. Now we're in a crisis. That's what always happens when we stay in the "Success Trap" too long.

If things are going well for you at work and in life, that's wonderful. Just don't get lulled into complacency. Realize that if we're not steadily improving on all fronts, we'll find ourselves in the "Success Trap"--and we probably won't even know it. Robert doesn't know it yet--but it's just a matter of time.

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A little over a week ago, CPI Corp shut it's doors. CPI who, you say? You might not know the name, but I bet you've seen them taking family portraits with the babies and small kids squirming and crying in their studios housed in Sears, Walmart and Babies R Us. About 2,700 portrait studios in all--but no more--the company recently died and has left thousands of employees behind.

In 2006, the CEO at the time, Paul Rasmussen went to the board with suggestions and warnings about taking better care of their customers. The board didn't listen--they were doing quite well, thank you. So, instead of changing anything, they kept right on doing what they had been doing--and then they died--not suddenly, but slowly over time.

The problem is that they are not unique, not by a stretch. We (companies or individuals) seem to have a preference for thinking and doing the same thing, over and over again. We become trapped by and in our thinking, choices and habits and we're oblivious to that. We complain about this or that--and then keep the status quo alive and well.

Why? One reason is because we can. We seem to be doing okay--and the truth is that too many of us are content with Okay. We get lulled into a false sense of security and we don't see the writing on the wall. We don't want to even acknowledge there is a wall. Leaders do that, employees do that--and we routinely do that in our personal lives. I've been guilty of this and I bet you have too.

We haven't died yet--at least not in the final sense. The problem is that when we refuse to change, a little bit of us dies on the inside--and we usually don't even feel it. That's true for a company or for a person. Life is about change, growth and transformation. Life is about going forward, not staying in the same place or slipping backwards. Life has a message for us--and a blunt one at that: Change or die.

Why do we resist change so much? Maybe because we think change is so unpleasant and so hard--we hear that message all the time. The truth is that it doesn't have to be--we make it more difficult than it is. Change can happen right now. All it takes is a small change--thinking or doing something different that will take us in a better direction.

We might not want to think about changing jobs--so why not start with changing our resume and getting it up to date? We might find going back to college too much to think about right now--but we can handle enrolling in one class. We might think losing fifty pounds is impossible--but we can start taking a ten minute walk today.

Change or die.

Choose change.

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Every company wants to be on The List—you know, the list of companies employees and customers rave about. Every leader and team member wants to be on The List of engaged, exceptional employees. If that’s so, why don’t we have a longer list? The reason is simple: To be on that list takes more than wanting to be on it. We have to earn our way on the list.

The problem is that we have a tendency to think we’ve earned our spot on The List when we haven’t. At least not from the point of view of our customers, employees or fellow team members—the ones who create and maintain what I call The List. How many of us, as companies or individuals, are really on The List?

Ten to twenty percent—but hey, let’s be generous and use the bigger number. Oh, and one thing: We can’t put ourselves on The List—that has to be done by someone else—and that reality explains why the list is dismally small.

You might think you’re the exception—as a company or as a manager or team member. Maybe you are. Most of us aren’t--only the top twenty percent are.

Yesterday I had a director in a large company tell me, "My boss would never ask me those questions." What questions was he referring to? The questions I told him every manager needs to ask his or her team:

• What am I doing well that you want me to keep doing?
• What am I doing that you want me to stop doing or do differently?
• What are my key strengths as a manager? (Or employee)
• What are my key weaknesses as a manager? (Or employee)

The truth is only about twenty percent of managers (or employees) would have the emotional intelligence to ask these questions. The other eighty percent are busy with other things—things that are urgent, but not nearly as important. That’s one reason we have an employee engagement problem.

This isn't about knowing what to do to fix our problem, it's our not being willing to look in the mirror to see the real problem. Yet, each one of us needs to look in the mirror because each one of us needs to improve in some way—from the CEO down.

We all want to be on “The List”—yet the facts are that most of us (Company or individual, aren’t.) To get on The List takes looking in the mirror and having an honest conversation with self and with each other. The mirror, by the way, is the results we produce and the feedback of our internal and external customers. But the mirror won’t come to us and pose the questions—we have to go to it and ask the questions above.

These questions, honestly asked, will help us earn our way onto The List. I know we're all crazy busy and many of us are overwhelmed and even cynical. But I also know that we do what we value and prioritize. If we really prioritized employee engagement, we would be asking The Mirror for feedback.

Bottom line: We have to do more than want employee engagement. To get on The List, we have to do what it takes to earn it. We can do it—the only question is “Will we?” The List doesn’t care if we're’re on it or not—do we? What does The Mirror say?

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Nationwide CEO Steve Rasmussen was recently interviewed by businessjournal.gallup.com on employee engagement and said, "Engagement is a state of mind. People either are engaged or they're not. You can feel it. I can walk into any company, and I can tell you in 15 minutes whether people are engaged or not just by talking to them. Say hello to them -- you'll know how they feel."

We are at a critical time when it comes to employee engagement. Leaders are saying they need more from their employees--and employees are saying they need more from their leaders. Too many of us are disenchanted and demoralized. CEO leadership adviser Mike Myatt and author of Leadership Matters wrote " I can think of no time in modern history where employees feel less valued and trusted." Ouch! That stings; but it needs to be said. Her'es the full article at Forbes.com: Why Your Organization Suffers From Leadership Dysfunction - Forbes

Last week I talked to a director in a large company about employee engagement. "Linda" has worked hard  to help her eight team members make their work  "work better for them," as she put it.  She's asked them what resources they need but don't have, what she needs to stop doing as a manager, what she needs to start doing and more.

She's asked them if they feel valued and when was the last time they felt challenged in a good way. Wow, what a manager! But guess what--she couldn't get a single one of them to open up, make suggestions or to even complain about anything. I bet you're not entirely surprised.

We don't need the latest polls and research to tell us that we have a long way to go with "employee engagement." When it comes to extraordinary customer service and employee happiness, how many companies come to mind? How about getting it right with either customer service or employee happiness, not necessarily both? The list gets a bit longer: Apple, Southwest Airlines, Walt Disney, Harley Davidson, Google, Starbucks.  I'm sure you could add a few companies--but the list would still be short.

How can this be? Why aren't more companies thriving and why aren't more employees really into their work? And, what can we do?

For starters, let's ask the question, "Who owns employee engagement?" Whose "problem" is it and who is responsible for finding solutions? (Not who's to blame--but who is responsible.)

Is employee engagement the responsibility of "leadership" or is it the responsibility of "employees?" The answer is "Yes"--meaning, employee engagement is the responsibility of both parties. Let's take a look at both sides of the coin:

Employees: If you're not engaged at work, why not? And more importantly, what are you going to do about it?  If you're not excited and fully invested in your work, it's your job to turn that around. Can your manager or company help with that. Yes, and hopefully they do--but in the end, how you feel about your work is up to you.

Leaders: When it comes to having engaged employees, you have to accept full responsibility for what you get or don't get. You (or someone above you) hired everyone on your team. You are responsible for leading, inspiring and coaching everyone on your team. In fact, ultimately, I believe our employee engagement problem is a leadership engagement problem in disguise. (The key word being, "ultimately," not "solely.")

Both Parties: It's time leaders stop blaming employees. It's time employees stop blaming leadership. We're in this together and we need to pull together. Who owns employee engagement? We all do.Whether we are in a group of three, three hundred or three thousand, we all own employee engagement--at least in theory. How about we own it for real?

"All for one and one for all."

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A consulting colleague told me today about a four day leadership meeting he facilitated. Everyone was excited. The CEO had been talking the event up and made sure everyone knew he would be there ready to participate. But the leadership event came and went--without the top leader--and without any explanations as to why he wasn't there for this "important" leadership training meeting.

Another colleague told me yesterday about a CEO who had asked him to do 360 feedback sessions with the "leadership" of her company. What the CEO meant to say was "I want you to do the 360's with everyone on a 'leadership' level--except for me and my senior leadership team."

There's a lot of talk today about employee engagement and the consensus is, "Houston, we have a problem." I agree, we do have a problem--but maybe not the problem we think. Do we really have an employee engagement problem or do we have (first and foremost) a leadership engagement problem? I think it's the latter.

Our so called employee engagement problem is really a leadership problem in disguise. To get at the employee engagement problem, we have to get at the leadership engagement problem. If we want to raise the level of employee passion and performance, we have to raise the levels of leadership engagement (how leaders engage "employees") in our companies and organizations. That's the first step in leading an employee engagement revolution.

If leaders want their employees to be engaged, they have to go first. That is what leaders do--they go first. They provide an example; they provide a living example of their vision in action--especially in how they think about and how they engage their followers. The fact is, we don't have an employee engagement problem, not really. But we do have a leadership engagement problem.

What most leaders don't realize, is how they create the problem of "employee engagement." That's because most leaders think they are doing "just fine, thank you." On a conscious level, most leaders think they can always improve. But on the subconscious level, they don't really believe it's critical that they do improve--at least not today.

Leaders need to rethink the employee leadership problem and ask this question: "What do I have to change in myself to begin an employee engagement revolution in my company?" The leader who asks self this question is the kind of leader who  recognizes that employee engagement begins with leadership engagement. That kind of leader is the leader who  attracts and develops engaged employees.

Anything less than that will get "less than" results.

The truth is it takes engaged leadership to lead an employee engagement revolution.

Let me know what you think.

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"Employee engagement" is a hot topic in the workplace today--and for good reason. More and more "employees" are feeling stretched beyond their capacity, feeling under-appreciated and under-valued. (Please note that I didn't say "under-paid." For the most part, money isn't the problem and more money isn't the solution to the "employee engagement" problem.)

Meanwhile, more and more managers on all levels are complaining about the lack of talent or about their "employees" not being "engaged." If you doubt that, just ask any manger how many "employees" they have that are at the top of their game.

If "employee engagement" is such a big problem, what can we do about it? Here's a suggestion on where to begin. Let's change our thinking and the way we talk about "employees" and "leaders." In fact, let's do away with the first word: "Employee." Seriously? Yes, seriously. The words we use are important and they have impact.

In fact, I think the problem we have with "employee engagement" starts with the first word: "Employee." Why is that?

Let's start with this: Does the word "employee" inspire you? If you think of yourself as being an "employee," does that "engage" you? Do we even know what we mean when we talk about someone being an "employee?" Check out the definition and see how (un) inspiring it is! Maybe that's the reason Walt Disney World doesn't use the term "employee." If you work at a Walt Disney World theme park, you're not an "employee," you're a "Cast Member."

What is an "employee?" Merriam-Webster.com tells us an "employee" is "One employed by another usually for wages or salary." Think about that. Paying someone money is important, but it's not enough to get them to unleash their talent, purpose and passion. That takes more than money.

The solution for our "employee engagement" problem isn't simple or it would have already been fixed. There's a lot to be done to unleash the talent and passion of "employees." Where do we start?  How about starting by getting rid of the word "employee."

I'm open to suggestions. Leave yours in the comments section!

P.S. In my next post, I'll explain why "The employee engagement problem is really a leadership engagement problem in disguise."

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How would you like to go work for a company, be treated to four weeks of incredible training, and then be offered $2,000 to quit? Crazy, right? Not according to Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos and the author of Delivering Happiness. There’s a method to his madness: Hsieh only wants employees who are committed to the company’s mission and who are a good fit for their culture – and he is willing to bribe employees who aren’t in sync to leave.

Now it’s time for a reality test: What would you do if your company offered you a couple thousand dollars to pack up and leave? Are you happy with your job, or would you seek greener pastures? Since your company isn’t likely to do that, let’s talk about how you can increase your happiness quotient right where you are. Here are three strategies that will deliver more happiness to you right away:

Commit to being the best at what you do. No, not the best at what you do compared to your colleagues – the best at what you can do compared to yourself. Your happiness at work is tied to you mastering your craft and having a mindset of ongoing improvement. Anything less is complacency. Learn a new skill, improve 1 percent in something you already know, or add to your knowledge base by reading an industry publication. The key is continuous, daily improvements to enhance your abilities.

Challenge yourself. Don’t wait for your manager to take on a new, possibly intimidating, responsibility – get in the habit of challenging yourself. Too many of us are going through life without firing on all cylinders – that makes for boredom, not happiness and fulfillment. If you’re nervous about public presentations, join Toastmasters and upgrade your ability to connect and influence others through public speaking. The point is, choose something that challenges you and get going – your happiness at work depends on it.

Celebrate every day. Celebrate what, you ask? Good question. What is there about your company, your day-to-day work or your life that you can celebrate? I’m not going to give you a list of what you have going for you at work or elsewhere – I’m urging you to do that. On paper is best, but at least take a mental inventory. What do you have to be grateful for when it comes to your job, your company, and your life? Celebrate all that, every day! It’s easy to take things, and people, for granted, and it’s a sure way to kill your happiness.

If you take this on, not only will your work improve, you will take problems and setbacks in stride. You will also be more proactive, innovative, and, of course, happier. It’s not hard – to deliver more happiness to yourself, commit, challenge, and celebrate!

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Work Hard Or Work Smart

(This post first appeared on www.womenworking.com where I am a frequent guest coach and blogger.)

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