Comments on: What It Takes To Be Happy: Self-Confidence!

By: Alan Allard

Alan Allard — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 17:34:20 +0000

What we say to others we say to ourselves because our subconscious mind is always listening and takes things literally and because we are all connected, not only with the Universe but also with each other. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts and experiences!

By: growingup

growingup — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:22:15 +0000

My whole point of the previous post was that positive action promotes confidence on both ends because it begins w positive thought...even if it's a silly joke. But, knocking others down and calling out flaws can be nonconstructive and hateful....begins w negativity

By: growingup

growingup — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:19:17 +0000

If I think something positive or that I appreciate about a person or situation, I make it a point to say it out loud. I also think hateful or (sometimes funny) diminishing thoughts...in which I sometimes say out loud....for the sake of humor, can make ppl feel good. The latter is not always OK but never go for the most obvious or jugular...it's not fair. Maybe it's not ever OK to tease but it's what I do to ppl I care for (I think it's the big sister in me), esp to loosen them up... but i always back it uo by doing or saying something sweet to remind them i care and they are my friend. HOWEVER, calling ppl out blatantly for mistakes for for somthing personal is NOT OK..I work with and wrve ppl everyday work try to tear you down by talking down or calling out faults. Real ppl make real mistakes jerks who refuse to reveal themselved for the sake fo the upperhand are awful.

By: Alan Allard

Alan Allard — Thu, 19 May 2011 23:36:55 +0000

Hi Erin, thanks for your comments. I agree that faith is a strand in the rope of happiness. To answer your question about how to handle being constantly criticized and openly mocked: This is you when rely on your "fan club" to remind you to consider the source of the criticism and mockery...it's not coming from a balanced and fair source is it? Since I know you and of your situation, I can say that! This is also a time for you to keep your focus on your strengths and how much you have given of yourself and accept that's all you can do. Feel good about yourself, not based on what someone else thinks and says about you, but what you know about yourself that is in stark contradiction to the criticism. Remember, "Hurt people, hurt people. When someone is in pain, they often find someone to give their pain to. So, it's not about you, it's about them. Knowing that doesn't take all sting out of the situation, but it will help you keep perspective. It also helps to remind yourself of the good in the ones lashing out at you and dwell on that more than you do their hurtful behavior. Hold in your mind images and feelings of who they really are on a deeper level and keep that energy going in the direction of things being the way you would want them to be. And, always remember to honor and love yourself and know that the Love of the universe is within you and expresses itself through you because you allow it to. That's who you are.

By: ERIN BROCKWAY

ERIN BROCKWAY — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:48:46 +0000

I find it rather fortuitous that I stumbled accross this article at this particular juncture in my life. I have areas where I have great confidence (work and hobbies) and others where I struggle with confidence (parenting). Your thoughts about building a fan club resonate with me. We don't live our lives in a vacuum. Interactions with others can have a profound affect on our emotional well being. I have learned over the years that removing myself from interactions with toxic people improved my confidence.
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Randall asks how people cultivate happiness while building confidence in an area where it may be sagging. I have been working on this for years in the area of parenting. I find that when I build confidence in an area, I am cultivating happiness at the same time.

Here's my question: How does one build confidence in an area of life when they are constantly criticized and openly mocked? (I am not able at this time to remove myself from the situation.)
I am likely going to be in this situation for another year or two.
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I would also like to add that if happiness and sel-confidence are intertwined then other strands of the rope might be faith and belief...
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By: Alan Allard

Alan Allard — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 16:17:58 +0000

Randall, thanks for your comments and questions. I suspect you have some great responses to your questions and I would welcome you sharing your thoughts.

I agree (with what seems to be your inference) we can cultivate happiness while we are in the process of building our confidence. My later posts will cover that, along with your question about what are some other "strands in the rope" of happiness. Stay tuned for more!

By: Randall Walters

Randall Walters — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 18:21:13 +0000

Yes, Alan, I agree. It is important to surround myself with people who have the intention to build others up in their lives. That is my intention.

I wonder how people cultivate happiness while at the same time building their confidence in an area where it may be sagging?

If happiness and confidence are intertwined, I wonder if there is at least one more strand in that rope? If so, what might it be?